RULES

Lest you think this is some front for a bunch of guys who just don’t want to shave, our Ethics Committee has come up with Mustache Growing Rules.

1. On the designated Clean Shaven Day, participants (Growers) will shave their faces clean of any and all facial hair. This includes, but is not limited to, Mustaches, beards, goatees, muttonchops, chinstraps, soul patches, sideburns that extend below the top of the earlobe, and Van Dykes.

2. For the duration of one month (4 weeks) sweet Mustaches will be grown for the world to behold. During that time, there will be weekly Mustache Checkpoint Days. All involved will shave their mugs on Checkpoint Days, save for the area above their upper lips. No fair growing a full beard or goatee for a month, and then shaving down to just the Mustache.

3. The Mustache must only stretch from one corner of your mouth to the other corner. No Edwardian tapers. No Rollie Fingers handlebars. Just corner to corner conformity.

4. No Hitler Mustaches are allowed.

5. The use of growth hormones and coloring agents is not condoned or sanctioned by Mustaches for Kids. We feel that these Mustache Growing Performance Enhancers violate the spirit of the contest.

6. Though the Mustache Checkpoints are not mandatory – Mustaches for Kids believes in the Honor System – they are a great opportunity to encourage your Mustache brothers-in-arms during the growing season. Mustaches for Kids representatives will be available at all Checkpoints to address any Mustache questions or concerns. And we will drink beer.

7. With such burgeoning Mustaches firmly in place, fundraising should be a walk in the park. The minimum Pledge Goal for each Grower should be $50.00 for the designated charity, but in no way should anyone be discouraged from participating in the contest because he doesn’t think he can make the Pledge Goal – $5 or $500, it goes to a good cause. Please be aware of and obey all local laws when soliciting donations.

8. While Mustaches for Kids does not endorse trash-talking or making disparaging comments of any kind about another Grower’s Mustache, there are a number of unsubstantiated medical theories that Mustache Abuse stimulates follicle growth.

9. When all is said and done, a Mustache Competition will be held, at which a panel of judges will select the Sweetest ‘Stache, using a complicated, and very scientific, set of criteria; Mustaches will be judged solely on these standards. Race, creed, nationality, sexual orientation, and popularity will not be taken into consideration. As in past years, booing will not be tolerated, especially by rival competitors; this is for charity, after all. Much like the Mustache Checkpoints, the final judging should foster a party-like atmosphere to celebrate the fruits of everyone’s Mustache labors.

10. While the Growing Season will end after four weeks, there is no deadline for fundraising. Checks should be made payable to the designated charity with “Mustaches for Kids” written in the Memo portion. Donations, by check, to 501 (c)(3) nonprofit organization are are tax-deductible. You can hand off checks to a Mustache Representative at the Mustache Checkpoints, at the Mustache Contest, or contact your local chapter organizer for a mailing address.

11. Finally, while merchandising is encouraged, please do not violate any local, state, or national statutes. For example, sales tax regulations may apply. And all profits must be donated as well.

12. Good luck and good growing.

What? You’re confused? “Mustaches? For kids?”

Yes. Mustaches for Kids. We admit that it’s a somewhat unusual concept, so we’ve collected some answers to the questions we get:

Is this a joke?

No. Since its inception in 1999, thousands of Growers across the US and Canada have joined Mustaches for Kids, and have raised nearly one million dollars for children’s charities.

I’m a woman. Can I join?

Mustaches for Kids does not discriminate against anyone on the basis of sex, age, nationality, or anything else you can think of. Anyone can raise money for the cause. Just remember, “The Mustache is more in the heart than on the face.”

I want to do it, but I’m scared.

Technically, that is not a question, but we will respond nonetheless. We suggest you step up to the plate. It’s time to overcome your fears and grow a Mustache for a good cause. Remember, there’s no “i” in “mustache”.

What will I tell my friends/co-workers/loved ones who object to my Mustache and ridicule me for it?

Do what we do. Fix them with a steely gaze and tell them the truth: “It’s for the kids.” Then ask them to make a donation.

Why Mustaches? Why the silly name?

This is not your typical fundraising organization. We believe in doing good and having a good time doing it.

Are you sure this isn’t a joke?

Positive.

Swear?

We swear to all that we hold holy that this is not a joke; we need your support.